​Sometimes, we want to be all things to all people.  Unfortunately, this is not possible. 

With a helping mentality, comes the question, "how can I help?"  We are eager to bring value to people we meet.  Why not?  

Yet our time is limited.  We have to be selfish.  This does not mean that we should not keep an open mind, but we have to be careful with our resources.  If you find yourself in a friendship, partnership, relationship etc. bringing the majority of the value to the table and not receiving the equivalent in return, it's time to say no.   ​

​It's wonderful to help someone without expecting anything in return.  Community service, volunteering, donating, are all beautiful examples of this concept.  Yet, doing this full time is not sustainable. 

Giving it your all does not mean you give all of yourself to everyone.  If we really want bring value to our relationships, we should be super selective.  It's ok to say "no" sometimes. 

Imagine if Warren Buffett said yes to every CEO who wrote a letter asking for investment!  Berkshire Hathaway would not be the most expensive stock in the marketplace if they were not brave enough to say "no" more than they said yes.  Harvard would not be an elite school if they accepted all applicants.  There is power and responsibility with being selective.  

The best we can be is ourselves.  It is not necessary or polite to wear different hats to please different audiences.  Be honest with your time and resources.  Give it your all, but do not give all of yourself away.  At the end of the day, we need foundation.  Being selfish with your time may seem rude, but in the long run, your relationships will benefit.  When you do give your time, you will be able to give one hundred percent.  You will be completely present.  You will be giving it your all.